The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
