that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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