you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
