i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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