No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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