I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
