elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
