please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
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