Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You may now shotgun with the bride
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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