Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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