I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
