do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
