I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Welp...herpes.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize