Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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