O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
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