Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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