I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
This is the high leading the old right now
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
