I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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