We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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