when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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