How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
