So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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