she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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