In the future we'll all be gay
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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