he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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