Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
So many bounce houses so little time
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
