i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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