Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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