And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
