So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
pop tarts are not kleenex
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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