How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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