In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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