Can i not drive my cunt home
Me too!
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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