We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
