ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
