Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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