kristin has been a bad kristin
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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