Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
