i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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