So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
