I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Less talking, more tequila
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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