So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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