I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
