Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
