Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
