I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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