News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
try to milk me bitch
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