All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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