I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize