i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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