Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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