Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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