Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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