On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
