and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
