just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
