another moral hangover. fuck.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
