It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
