OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
