This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Come share oat with me in your robe
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
