Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
