dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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