That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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