For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
