You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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