Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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