one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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